Not in My Storybook...

 If we were the author of our storybook, I'm quite certain there are some chapters we would never even consider writing. On November 6th, 2012 such a chapter commenced in our lives. I was standing in line with Odelia explaining to her about voting and Presidents when I felt a sensation no pregnant women wants to feel... convinced I was having a miscarriage at 11 weeks I rushed home. After praying we went to the ER where Aaron and I were quite surprised to learn that our baby still had a heartbeat! The following week found us at a specialist's office learning all about subchorrionic hemorrhages. The Doctor was very encouraging telling us that the baby looked great and the blood clot should resolve itself in a few weeks. A week of bleeding came and went. We were hopeful that we had finished that chapter of scariness and could now move onto the joys of happy pregnancy part! However...
   18 weeks pregnant found us in the Labor and Delivery Unit after a large amount of bleeding. What an awful feeling arriving at the place where previously you've delivered 3 healthy girls knowing that this visit was way too soon! Convinced yet again that we were loosing our precious little one we were happy to learn that she still had heartbeat. That began our myriad of trips to the specialist, learning that the hemorrhage had not resolved at all, but had in fact gotten bigger. We talked about fear inducing words like placenta abruption, rare condition, and preterm labor. Months of bleeding and ultrasounds produced reports that our baby, a girl, was totally undisturbed by the fact that her cozy habitat was falling apart. At 29 weeks we had a good report- things were looking better, perhaps that chapter was finally ending and the long overdue happy pregnancy part was now ready to begin...
    In the wee hours of March 13th I jumped out of bed convinced that the bleeding was back and was totally shocked to discover lots of clear fluid instead of red. I got back in bed and decided that was a fluke and tried to convince myself that if it happened again then I would call someone. It did came again and I cried as I called the Doctor.  In what seemed like very short order this chapter of our lives went from looking up to spiraling down. I cried more as we arrived at the Labor and Delivery Unit, early yet again, and then more tears when the Doctor announced that I (without any bags packed or plans made) would not be leaving until our baby was delivered. My life came to a screeching halt. Shots, needles, monitors, and IV's marched into my life as did a nurse from the NICU all prepping us for the arrival of a preemie. My due date in May suddenly slid to March. I am glad that I was unable to read this part of the chapter ahead of time or I would have probably had a panic attack. Long nights, hostage days and 2 near rushes to the Operating Room, now find us in April still living in this crazy chapter.
   One underlying thing sustains me. The day this chapter of my life began I was studying Noah. I remember the distinct lesson that God allowed the overwhelming waters of the flood to only come up so high on that boat. Noah was in there a LONG time and I am sure he faced some crazy storms and waves, but God allowed the waters to not overtake that boat. And God knows how high the water around me in this chapter may rise, but I know that they will not overwhelm me. There is a song that is on auto play for the this chapter too... I hear it in the dark scary times and it plays while others speak fearful words...( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOkImV2cJDg) I pray that whatever wacky chapter of life you find yourself in today that may not have been in your storybook you can trust that God is writing it and find peace in that place.